back from my trip

My trip was lovely, got to hang out with my cousin and her family. And got to see other family that i have not seen in many, many years. Talked about family drama, lol So much of it in our family. but yeah i did everything that i wanted to do and relaxed a bit. Its nice to be in a house with no crazy construction, lol. But on another note, he and i never met up. i dont know if hes telling the truth or not, guess i have to believe him but my bitter, cynical side just doesnt believe any man anymore. Now is it fair for me to label all men dbs? Ok so this is his excuse. He told me he asked for days off and they never got approved. Then on sunday i was annoyed with him and didnt text him back all day so he tells me that hes sorry but he wanted to meet up but 3 people at work are out on vaca and hes stuck working. I mean that could be true and i know that he works long crazy shifts and i know that he works lots of OT. But still a small part of me wished he would have tried harder to see me but then again if i was working 18 hr shifts all week i would probably not wanna go out either. But who knows. so yeah thats his story and i dont know what to do. I dont know where we stand. I'm just gonna not worry about it like i normally do and just let him chase me and i'll just not talk to him as much.

getting nervous

So in less then a week i will be flying to Jersey to visit my cousins and to meet a guy that hopefully is not a DB, but so far so good. I really nervous about flying cause well I hate it. I try not to think of it cause it really freaks me out. And well i'm really nervous about seeing matt cause well he seems like a really good guy and i have no idea what will happen. Part of me is so over men and so cynical towards them all that I kinda dont care. but then of course theres that part of me that kinda believes he really is a good guy and to stop worrying so much. I mean i dont know whats really gonna happen. He's so far away and i dont wanna get hurt again. But I think we are either gonna just stay friends or more. I doubt hes gonna be an ass. But who knows but yeah I'm a nervous wreck and well I gotta go shop and buy some stuff today. and start packing a little. I'm sure to write more later on this week.

Kinda weird

So lately DB's have been contacting me, no idea why. There is one that I swear can not take a hint but is starting to a bit more then before. Then there is another that I used to talk to on some dating site like a few years ago but he was weird, we never even met and he was so in love with me and would just creep me out so I stopped talking to him. I lied and said I had a bf. And recently he imed me and was being all creepy again so i blocked him. Then theres the guy who kept leaving me at the table. He texted me, apologized for being a jerk and tried to ask me out again, I said no and havent responded to any of his texts. And lately when i go out I see some of them but they dont see me, its weird. And still Matt from jersey is not a DB. By now i would've been able to tell cause he would have stopped talking to me. So who knows what'll happen. I'm getting a bit more nervous about my trip now. I dont know whats gonna happen.

Craziness

So its official August is a crazy month for me. I'm so very happy that i'm not going to school. I have so many parties and things going on now. I'm most looking forward to my cousin coming to visit, thats gonna be lots of fun. And our house is still being remodeled and its crazy. Its nice to have some time off of men, it really is. And my mom keeps bugging me to online date again and i tell her no. I wanna meet them the old fashioned way. While i'm not looking. I mean it would be nice to have a guy and all but honestly i'm enjoying myself. Just hanging out with friends and truly enjoying life. I dont have time to deal with another DB. Now the guy in Jersey is different cause we'll meet up when i go there but i'm seeing it more as a friends thing. Cause well we never met and we might meet and it could be totally awful or not. Only thing i'm sure of is hes not a DB. And well if he cant meet up with me then i know its just a friends thing. I dont know i'm so down with guys that I have no real expectations anymore when it comes to them. Honestly i just want us to get along and hang out and if something happens, it happens. But i'm more loooking forward to seeing my cousins who i havent seen in forever. Thats gonna be fun and visiting a new place. there are so many places i wanna travel to. And i hope i get to someday

little update

So i'm all excited cause me and my friend are planning a trip to Seattle and I'm probably gonna visit my cousin in Jersey and still no online dating. You guys didnt think I could do it but I did it. Honestly I'd rather spend time with my friends and family then waste it on another DB. Ok so I'm just wondering what should I do about this guy (DB from the past) who keeps texting me, and I never reply. Last time I talked to him was when I told him off in March cause he wanted to see me. And seriously should I just say stop texting me or hope he finally realizes I want nothing to do with him. I mean really how dumb can one boy be? Ok so theres this guy who I know I shouldnt like but hes more of a distraction then anythig else. Hes way too young but totally hot and lives on the East coast. And he texts me pretty much all the time, even after we talked on the phone for over an hour he still texted me after that. I dont know what he wants from me and I dont know what to do. I mean I cant do the long distance thing again, it sucks and I dont even know what he wants from me. My friend told me to just tell him "i'm going to see my cousin and if you wanna hang out lemme know, if not then its ok" And if he says "hes too busy" or something then I know my answer. But i'm really not expecting mch from any guy anymore, I'm so tired of all the stupid games and whatever, I'm so tired of getting hurt all the time, I guess having someone so far away wont hurt so much if he finds someone else. I think i'm just gonna let this one guy and just have fun with him and just treat him as a friend cause I'm tired of every guy hurting me

I really did mean it

So things are kind of normal now, I have the summer off, no school!!!! So happy, i really needed a break, work is fine and the stupid DB is already dating someone else. So much for him not wanting to be tied down to a serious commitment. I mean seriously I would have preferred if he just told me "sorry, i met someone else" I swear men are so lame. I really am turning bitter, i really need a break from all of them. But yeah you will be all happy to know that I am no longer dating anymore online guys, no longer looking for them online or even in real life cause well i just wanna enjoy myself. And well i'm just tired of dealing with stupid boys who dont know what they want or who cant tell me the truth, i'm just so sick and tired of their crap. And seriously the next one I date is gonna be sorry cause i'll treat him like crap. But yeah thats why i'm done with them for now. I seriously just wanna go out have fun, visit my family in the east coast, go on vacation, go to the beach and go out and just live my life and not worry about stupid boys anymore

Its funny

So i had a bday gift for the DB and well I didnt send it cause he doesnt deserve something nice from me for the way he treated me. But i decided to write him a nice note basically saying have a happy birthday, i got you something awesome, oh wait since you no longer talk to me you are not getting it. So i told him I found the song hes been looking for for years and now i feel great. I dont care if he even read it, or even believes me but it just makes me feel good to have said that and not expecting a response or anything but now I feel like i have closure and can find someone better. And i made excuses for him like its his job situation and crap like that but if he was really the one for me he would have made it work. So now I'm finally back on my diet and hopefully will be done with school soon. And hopefully will find a great guy but yeah no more online men for me. Just not gonna look for him anymore cause I know from the past that you always find someone great when you are not looking for it. And i'm so happy finals are almost done and I really need to get out one of these nights cause all i do is study, study, study